Nothing Good Happens After Midnight: Debunked

I've often heard that nothing good ever happens after midnight. Plenty of good things happen after midnight, namely sleep. I'd say that nothing good happens before 8 a.m. Here it is 7:17 in the morning, and I am not only awake, but I have been that way for over an hour. I don't think unborn children should be allowed to wake you up, but this little girl has other ideas. She is most definitely outgrowing her space and is in the process of making more room for herself. Lying in bed at what must have been around 5:30 (we seriously need to find our clocks), I just kept my eyes closed, ignored my bouncing belly and pretended like I was asleep. Just when I was to the point where I thought I might actually fall asleep, Ben's phone rang. The carpool was waiting for him. Again, we need to find our clocks. Well, I would feel like a terrible wife if my poor husband went to dig ditches all day with no lunch, because he didn't set his alarm or make lunch the night before (and even rejected my offer last night to make it for him). So I jumped out of bed, and of course both calves cramped simultaneously. It's happening so often now that it's no longer debilitating, just annoying. In 3 minutes I was able to make (if throwing a jar of peanut butter and loaf of bread in a bag counts as making) a nutritious lunch (well, um minus the Dorritos), find Ben's passport and kiss him as he ran out the door. Maybe I can be a mom. I really wanted to go back to bed, but I was fully awake. I thought maybe I could start my daily chore of unpacking. Too tired for that. And hungry. Trying to eat protein and few carbs at breakfast makes breakfast significantly harder than it ought to be. And I've never been one to eat breakfast in the first place. At 6:20 a.m. the option of a frozen chimichanga, tuna or turkey sandwich, or chicken nuggets is not appealing. And then I saw it: the Lucky Charms. I splurged last night and had Lucky Charms as my bedtime snack (probably why I was so hungry at 6 a.m. to begin with), so I knew I really probably shouldn't eat another bowl for pre-breakfast. Then I did what any tired 7-month pregnant woman would do: grabbed the box and sat down eating cereal straight from the bag. I figured if I didn't pour it in a bowl it didn't count, and I would just go back to sleep and pretend like it never happened. It's hard to pretend I didn't eat something when it makes me feel like I am going to vomit and I have this weird taste of orange in my mouth. I will never be able to drink McDonald's orange drink again. And, of course, by twist of fate, we have orange toothpaste. I think I will let my teeth decay and breath stink for the better part of today. Never in my life have I so badly wished to be a marsupial. And now, I think I will try to go back to bed.