It Just Makes Sense

We are always encouraged to develop our talents. Sewing is not a talent of mine. Monday I worked most of the day on the baby dress. It didn't go so well. I ended up crying and yelling at the machine. I remember using Berenice's machine in Alaska and I don't remember it being that hard. Every time I went to sew either the lower thread would get tangled or the upper thread would unthread itself. Ben suggested that I put the machine away for the night and find something else to do, but I was not to be defeated by the machine. Somewhere in there I also skipped a direction in the pattern and was faced with the decision of either undoing all that I had done or finding a creative way to fix it. I chose to be creative. Rick rack covers mistakes, right? Wrong, it just makes them look uglier. I finally got to a point where I decided that I had the machine cooperating and felt like I could stop. And then I looked at what I had accomplished so far and felt rather ashamed of my efforts. I had the whole top of the dress finished and all I had to do was add the skirt. And I realized there was no way I was ever going to put that ugly thing on my child. Maybe one of her dolls could wear it.

That night Ben was tired very early (who can blame him when he gets up at 5:30 every morning and works in the heat all day?) After laying in bed trying to sleep for an hour and a half, I decided I could do something more productive than stare at the ceiling and listen to Ben snore. I got up and made Ben's lunch for the next day, complete with a cute little love note. And then I wrote in my journal. Eventually I felt tired enough to sleep, but my little girl was still very much awake. She likes to do somersaults. I fell asleep sometime into the wee hours of the morning. And then I had to wake up to pee at 5:15. That is the worst time to wake up because it's not enough time to fall all the way back asleep before Ben gets up for work. I decided that I would get up and make him breakfast. When his alarm went off I got up and made pancakes, and I even put chocolate chips in them. He left for work with his tummy filled and lunch in hand. And he didn't even have to eat a chimichanga. I considered going back to sleep, but knew it wouldn't happen anytime soon. I did laundry, dishes, made myself breakfast, and then cleaned the bathroom. This was all before 8 a.m. And then I was tired, so I went back to bed and woke up at 12:30. Just enough time to eat lunch.

Then I packed up my sewing machine and headed to Danielle's for sewing lessons. First, I wanted to know why I was so incompetent that I couldn't even use a beginner's sewing machine. After a thorough look down of the machine she discovered the problem: the bobbin was put in backwards and upside down. I'll have you know that I didn't put in the bobbin, that was Ben being helpful. He refuses to read directions. And then she looked at the pattern I was using and informed me that although it said "easy" it was not an easy pattern. And the material I was using is difficult to work with. I felt a little less defeated. And then I decided to give up, on the dress, that is. Something that ugly doesn't deserve to to have more time and effort put into it. I also realized that making dresses isn't really an economical thing to do. By the time you buy the pattern ($6) and the fabric ($6) and then spend 2 days of labor on it (10 hours x $15/ hour= $150- hey I'm a college graduate I think I deserve $15/hour), you've spent $162. That's ridiculous. I'm a good sales shopper, I can find a really cute, already-made dress for less than $6. I am not a quitter. It just makes sense. Making baby blankets is still a good idea. First, I only have to sew in a straight line. I can do that. Second, there is very little ironing involved. I seriously hate ironing. Third, I don't have to buy any sort of pattern. And when baby blankets are at least $15 and I can make them for $7, that's a good deal.

After my lessons I went home with a pizza in hand. We eat pizza a lot here. It's only $5 and takes just 5 minutes to pick up. Normal dinner costs around $5 and takes much longer to cook. It just makes sense. Then Ben decided he wanted to watch Napoleon Dynamite, because he was on his mission when it came out and he's never seen it. I had forgotten how slow and plot-less that movie is. I do like the movie, don't get me wrong. Ben couldn't understand why anyone would like the movie and I was having a hard time explaining it. It's funnier at 3 in the morning when you are hanging out with your roommates and haven't had a decent night's sleep in a whole semester. Really watching the movie itself isn't all that funny. It's funny afterwards. Funny that so many people would sit through that movie for 2 hours. And then there's the quotability. We didn't even make it all the way through the movie. Ben felt like he'd wasted a few hours of his life. And then, a few hours later, the funniness started to sink in. Especially when he made me a quesadilla.

And now for the pregnancy update. Danielle, Kari and I were discussing whether or not we liked being pregnant. I don't hate it, but I'm not one of those crazy people who loves being pregnant. That's seriously crazy. I'm glad to be over the nauseousness part, that sucked. It's not fun when you never have the energy to do anything. Now I have plenty of physical energy. I think I am lacking emotional energy. Just ask Ben. I cry a lot. The combination of lack of sleep, being constantly kicked in the gut, having tons of extra hormones running through your system, not recognizing yourself in the mirror, not having any clothes that fit, bumping your extended belly into things, worrying about your unborn child who you can't see, worrying about what you are going to do with your child when it is born, worrying about the process of that child being born, trying to figure out what needs to be done before the baby gets here, having a hard time remembering anything, losing nearly 50% of your mental capacity, always being hungry, dropping things, being unable to pick things up off the ground, sweating all night regardless of the temperature, having to visit the doctor every other week, not being able to see your feet when standing, complete strangers asking you all sorts of questions and giving lots of advice, realizing that you will only get less sleep in the future, having an achy back, feet, neck, arms, abdomen, breasts, (insert any body part here), having crazy realistic yet improbable dreams, itching all over despite the gallon of lotion you use everyday, stretch marks, heartburn, and an non-functioning digestive system. And people wonder why pregnant women cry so much? It just makes sense.