If I Were an Optimist . . .

and perhaps a little delusional, my blog would go something like this:

Here I am at 34 weeks. Don't I look fantastic? All that added weight and roundness gives me a nice motherly glow. I just can't wait to see how big I get, it is so exciting. Sometimes I even forget my belly is there and I run into things with it; it makes me giggle.Yesterday I had contractions all day long. The contractions really helped me to center myself as I repeatedly entered a state of meditation. The doctor doubled my dosage of niphedipine. It's made my cheeks oh so rosy and given me a narcoleptic urge to sleep. It is so exhilarating to not have any idea when this baby is coming, I love the adrenaline rush I get each time I think about it- it's better than cliff jumping. It is great to know my baby is so anxious to see me that she wants to come so early, she must really love me.

Today I get to go to the doctor again and relax in that nice, comfortable chair and read a book for an hour while I listen to my baby's heartbeat. The one really nice thing about pregnancy is how often you get to pee in a cup. It's a great life skill to have, so the next time I have to take a drug test I will be a pro.

Alright, enough of that. I'm not so good at pretending to be an optimist. I think I'll stick to realism.
So this is the baby's room. Notice the letters hanging on the wall. This has been my project for several weeks now. I'm pretty excited about how it turned out. Ben helped me hang them up last night. Then he stood back and said that it looked good, but I could tell by his stare that he was thinking something. I knew what he was thinking, but hoping to be wrong, I asked anyways. I don't know why he lets me spend hours crafting a cute little decoration that involves spelling her name out on the wall, helps me hang it up, and THEN decides he doesn't like the name. He said the name just doesn't fit. He doesn't think it is girly enough. It reminds him of a dead president. He wants to name her Kaytlyn. As stubborn as I am, I am considering just giving in so this girl can have a name other than "Baby Girl." He seemed to think that fit too, I told him that it does fit, but the problem is that it will only work for one. He suggested we name the next one Sister, like in Bernstein Bears. Add exasperation to exhaustion and you get tears.

Maybe we will end up having a boy, which is often what happens in my nightmares, and then at least he would have a name, even if he did have to wear pink for the first six months of his life. You see, men only like things that are their ideas. Ben thought of the name Brighton right after we found out we were pregnant and we thought we were having a boy. I loved the name and so when we found out at the first (ok, second) ultrasound that we were having a boy, I was glad that we had both so happily agreed on a name so quickly. But, alas, ultrasounds three and four told us we were having a girl. I am excited to have a girl, but we've been discussing her name for nearly six months and we are back to square one. Maybe this time we will let him think of Kennedy. I'll just paste it to the back of the cereal box underneath a picture of the most adorable little girl I can find.

Other than not having a name, we are ready for this little girl to come, whenever she decides to make an appearance. In the midst of my contractions yesterday, I finally gave in and decided I really should pack a bag for the hospital. We moved the playard into our bedroom just to make sure it fit. Then I decided the baby's room looked lonely without it and had Ben move it back. Ben wanted to put the carseat in the car, but I thought that was just silly.

And now we play the waiting game.