Snakes, Snails, and Puppy Dog Tails

Did you know for every year for the last 63 years in the United States approximately 90,000 more males have been born than females? And yet there are over 6 million more living females than males? As a mother of one of those males, I'm starting to understand why.

Do all boys think they are invincible? Kennady has always been a pretty cautious kid. Sure, there have been a few times when I've come in to find her sitting on the top shelf of the pantry eating snacks, but she only ever does those types of things to get something she wants. Otherwise, she'd prefer to have her feet securely planted on the ground. Korban though, that's another story. He likes to do crazy stunts just for the fun of it. Like jump off the couch over and over, even though he smacks his face on the ground every single time. And he thinks it's fun! He likes to climb on bookshelves and dance on them, because he thinks it's fun if they wobble, and he'd probably think it was great if they fell over. He likes to climb up on the counter and run the full length of it, just because it's higher than running on the ground. He thinks its a good idea to try to jump out of the arms of the person who is holding him, or at least make it as difficult as possible for people to carry him. He's been dropped a couple times, but he still continues to do it.

Korban also likes to climb up on top of the tv. It's a pretty giant tv. I've done everything I can to discourage this, aside from putting a fence around the tv. Whenever I see him doing it, he gets a couple seconds to get down on his own, and then I drag him down and give him a swat on the butt. Tuesday near the time Ben would usually get home, I turn around and see him on top of the tv. I start counting to three, and he jumps off the top. It's nearly 4 feet off the ground. He lands on his face and starts screaming. I pick him up and immediately see blood spewing from his mouth. Like cover my entire shirt and his in blood. He even coughs some of it into my face. I'm trying to figure out where exactly this blood is coming from. At first I think a tooth has come through his lip. Nope, that's not it. Then I notice a gash on his chin. It's definitely bleeding a lot, but it doesn't explain all the blood in his mouth. And then I finally get him to open his mouth. He nearly bit through the left and right sides of his tongue. Gross. I give him some cold juice to help stop the bleeding, which works and succeeds in calming him down. I call Ben, who accidentally took our car keys with him that day, to see if he knows if you can stitch tongues. He doesn't, says he's only 10 minutes from home, but he'll call and see what he can figure out. While he's calling, I start seeing what I can find on the internet. Pretty much that they don't stitch tongues unless it's all the way through, or longer than half an inch. Yeah, no stitches! Then I turn around to see that Korban has climbed back onto the tv. And he's laughing. Facepalm. Don't worry, he didn't jump again, at least not that time.