Wow. What a Mess.

There are many things I could be talking about. My living room, for example. Not that it's any different than usual, only that usual looks like a bomb went off in here. I could be talking about Kennady's room. Her favorite thing to do is pull diapers out of the box. So there are near 51 diapers spread across her room. That's nearly as many cards as there are in 52 card pickup.

Or maybe Kennady's face as she tries to learn how to use a spoon. So cute. She loves her new spoon and fork. We've limited them to the table, which makes her sad, because they are her new favorite toys. She is really good at getting the in her mouth, just not so good at getting the food on the spoon or into her mouth.

Or maybe I am talking about our country. Seriously, things are crazy. Dallin H. Oaks is one of the worst people in the world? What? Well, at least Keith Olbermann seems to think so. I think a lot of problems could be solved if people could learn to read. Basic reading comprehension. Like our Constitution. Left to right, top to bottom. Or the transcripts of what Elder Oaks actually said. The news seriously gives me a headache. Obama wins the Nobel Peace Prize? For what? Pretty much for good intentions. Well, if I had a Nobel Peace Prize for every good intention I had...well, let's just say I'd have a lot. The things I here that are trying to be done to change our country are crazy talk. Are people really so lazy as to give up their freedom? Sure, right now a redistribution of wealth sounds pretty enticing- let's face it, we'd be on the receiving rather than the giving end. But what about working for what you have? Ok, I like free things, who doesn't? But these things aren't free. Every time we let the government "take care" of us, we lose some of our freedom. And they can't even get it right. I personally like the feeling of working hard for something and then, after maybe even years of labor, achieving my goal. If I want more than someone else, and I'm willing to work for it, I should be allowed to have it. Yes, some people seem to have fortune on their side, but that's just life.

Or perhaps I am talking about our budget. Hmm, yes, in theory I am good at budgeting. In practice, not so much. The problem is that it is difficult to even begin thinking about budgeting when you have zero to very little income. We joked that our budget should be a negative budget, meaning we have to find money every month. Well, ok, we were mostly serious. See we were doing really well. And then stupid things came up- like reregistering our car and Kennady eating the power cord of our computer (more on this later). And then the cheapo diet we put ourselves on didn't so much agree with my body. So we had to purchase those expensive fruits and vegetables.

I really don't mean to complain about our finances. We are extremely blessed and have everything we need and then a whole lot more. We live pretty comfortably. This is thanks to all the hard work that Ben does and did all summer to save up money for school, and a Heavenly Father who always seems to make a way for us. So I know things will work out, if we keep working, but it's just stressful to look at our next year's budget and see a deficit. I'm sure we will continue to find things to close that gap.

One of those things will not be the assistant manager position. Grr. It's really frustrating. I mean I graduated from this university magna cum laude and they won't even offer me an interview for any position they have open. Is it me, or is it them? Well, I mean, I guess I'm not from Rexburg, so that makes me under-qualified for any job in this town. Or maybe I have it all wrong and their were three other applicants that graduated summa cum laude. Or perhaps they couldn't care less about how well I did in school and they were looking for managerial experience, or customer service. Hmm. Breathe, Kortney. Ben will soon graduate and we can move on to something else.

Yes, this is my ranting session. Yes, this is my blog, so I can do that. It makes me feel better.

But really, aside from the headaches and fretting about the future, I love my life. Ok, we are poor and there are things that I keep adding to my "someday" file. But I love that I have a "someday" file. And right now I have a very beautiful, healthy and happy family. I hope that my family will always be able to do the things that make them happy.

Oh, and after getting a new power cord for the computer, the situation has not improved. I am trying to find someone to borrow a battery from to see if that's it, but most likely it's the logic board. I can buy a new laptop (not a Mac) for what it costs to fix the logic board. So it looks like my laptop has become a desktop. Sad day.

And, P.S., I could be talking about this blog entry because it's all over the place. That's what happens when I get super frustrated and I can only use my computer when Kennady is sleeping.