When Things Suck

Here I am, blogging again. Mostly because I haven't left the house in weeks and have been severely deprived of adult communication. Sick, sick, sick. Yeah, you read about that. The kids are better and Kennady even got to leave the house for a playdate with her friend Jane today. Which was fantastic, because she was driving me nuts, probably because she's been cooped up in this house for weeks too. Go somewhere out of the house without mommy? Yes, please.

So now that we've told most of our family (um, if we missed you, I'm so sorry, I've mostly just been telling people as they've called me), I'll let the cat out of the bag. I'm pregnant with Nelson baby #3! And I have been sick, sick, sick. With the flu twice, and bronchitis, AND severe morning sickness on top of everything. Severe enough that I'm still in 8th place in my weight loss challenge, despite my lack of workouts and terrible eating habits. Severe enough to get some awesome meds from my dr. Meds which worked fantastically. And then they had to take me off due to some side effects. Let's just say it's been a long five weeks. And as the app on my phone so pleasantly reminds me, I have 214 days left to go! (I'm about 9 weeks). The good news is this little baby seems to be a trooper, and according to the ultrasound they did, there is only one little baby, and it has a strong heartbeat. Why have I had such terrible morning sickness, when I've managed to not throw up through two pregnancies (not including from heartburn in the last trimester)? I don't know. Clearly it's not because it's a girl or a boy, since I've had one of each. I suggested this one might be a puppy. Ben thinks it must be our baby that will be our angel child, and therefore the pregnancy has to be harder to make up for it (that doesn't really seem fair to me, because he'll get to reap all the benefits without any of the work.... that said I've not exactly been easy to live with for the last couple of weeks).

Yesterday I was feeling pretty miserable, and was about to change my Facebook status to reflect that (because what else can you do when you're laying in bed feeling awful and the kids are running around destroying the house?), when I noticed that pretty much everyone's status was similar to what I was thinking. It must be that time of year, when everyone is at the ends of their ropes due to a lack of getting out of the house due to terrible weather and sickness. So I declared it National Complain About How Sick You/Your Family Is on Facebook Day, and hosted a giveaway to whomever could give me the best sob story. The prize was either a homecooked meal delivered by me, or a care package, depending on location of the winner. I'm sure someone thought I was being sarcastic, and was totally offended. But I wasn't. I think everyone needs to vent a little sometimes. Not have a full-blown pity party, but acknowledge that sometimes life sucks, but that you get through it. Also, I think some people really are whiners, who could use a chance to see that they really don't have it so bad.  Ok, maybe I fit into that category sometimes. Maybe we all do. I wasn't sure if my friend Mindy was going to enter this contest or not. But she did.

Is there really any competition? After the birth of my daughter the strain of 30 years of diabetes caused the start of kidney failure & being on a weekly kidney treatment. I was then diagnosed with stage 2 bladder cancer where I under went 2 surgeries & 2 bouts of chemo with 4 rounds in each. Because of complications from the chemo I am now being pushed into a permanent feeding tube because of my gasteroprysis & the chemicals from chemo has ripped holes into my stomach & esophagus. I also have frontal lobe epilepsy and as you know Ive been unconscious for the last month and a half due to medication changes & severe seizure clusters. Is that enough or should I continue? Now my entire family is sick & I'm taking Ella to doc today cause I'm worried it's turning into pneumonia. Oh and my last fight, I had to have a hysterectomy last summer, & I would love to have more children & everyone I know is prego or just had another baby! So no one should be surprise when I go bat shit crazy & kidnap a newborn! I WIN! Xoxo Oh & for those who don't know me, no this isn't a sad story off of Oprah its my real life!

Yeah, like I said, some of us are just whiners. The thing about this is that probably the majority of her friends on Facebook, or in real life, knew little or nothing about any of this. Because she rarely complains about it. Any of it. She rarely mentions it to people. If you met her, you would never have any idea that she was sick. At all. Even when she was on chemo. Because she is happy and smiles and is fun. And it's not fake. It's because she loves living life, even when it sucks, and it usually sucks for her. She gets out of bed, she gets dressed, and she does her hair. She even does her daughter's hair all cutesy every day. I can't even imagine how sick she must feel some days. She fights, even when she doesn't want to. She constantly worries that she's not a good enough mother/friend/sister/daughter/citizen because she can't do it all. But she does more than most people. She's the first person to volunteer to take a meal to someone. She doesn't judge people and their circumstances, but instead offers to help, or just helps, without asking. She always wears herself out, because she refuses to say she can't do something, and she does it anyways (even when countless people tell her not to). She's pretty inspiring, and totally awesome.

I don't mean to say that we don't all have our own trials. And I'm sure someone out there has a better sob story than Mindy. And I think it's ok to whine every once in a while. That's why we have blogs and Facebook accounts (although I swear I'm defriending the next person who whines about their cat's cold, yes I'm an animal hater, blah, blah, blah). But really, I think most of us have it better than we remember sometimes. I know I do. Eventually I won't be sick anymore. And, God willing, I'll be bringing home a beautiful healthy baby at the end of September. I feel pretty darn lucky to be feeling like crap right now. Especially since Ben is the best, most wonderful, amazing husband ever, who's been doing the dishes and cleaning out the fridge and cleaning the toilet, traveling to far off places in blizzards to bring me the one random thing that sounds palatable, doing laundry and disaster recovery of our house EVERY NIGHT after getting home from work. Yeah, I know I'm a slacker. I'm working on it. 

On a lighter note, we recently purchased a new vacuum cleaner when our other one bit the dust. The first time I vacuumed the living room with it there was so much junk in the canister I nearly threw up (which isn't that telling these days). Apparently we had no idea how much our old vacuum cleaner sucked. (This is not a joke, but a true story, with intentional puns).